My life has had some u-turns, a few side steps and then back on track again. Two times I`ve become a photographer. The first time was by share luck, and the second time because I realized that the light in the tunnell came with a message. Why did you turn your back on things that made you happy?!

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FInished with my university studies the economy was in a big dip. Besides, the puplic sector was filled with 68-ers; transform yourself was the formula for the next generation, go private!  I even went to a course to learn to be a Juppy, and got so terrified by the whole experience that I ended up with a job at a slaughter house. 4 months with the hardest job on earth, waking up a 5 am, I was ready for almost anything. A friend not happy loosing a good companion at the pubs, offered me a job as an editors assistent at HUD, a film by Vibeke Løkkeberg.  She is a great film maker and with Paul René Roestad as her film photographer they made some stunning pictures. My job was to remember all the cuts in every sequence, every take, 20-30 of them for each move, with some minor changes. Vibeke had a lot of qualities, but numbers and orders were not one of them. "Could you please get me the take where the wind made a little wave in my hair? You know, and then she acted to remind me of the take where she was at her best." That´s when I realized I had some nice visual memory skills. My brain was so absorbed in the beauty of those frames that I remembered them all. I knew excactly where she was.

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I stopped drinking beer, became unsocial, saved all my money for camera equipment, chemicals, paper, film, and turned my kitchen into a makeshift darkroom. After a lot of trial and errors and thorough studies with Ansel Adams as my Prophet, I decided I was trimmed to be a press photographer. Just like that. New education, no study loan. I became a press photographer. A long story short, my entourage in film making and photography  ended around the time the digital cameras were introduced.  By then I  had just had my debut at Statens Høstutstilling as an art photographer. Still, I quit. Having matured into a responible adult, I had to follow the money. But I left an unfinished business behind me. I remember telling myself that if I ever picked up a camera again, it should be a large format camera. Years went on.

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Until I finally realized what a mistake  I had done, not pursuing the visual arts. At this time the digital world had taken over.  Analog photography was for some odd oldtimers and a couple of students. So I signed up for tons of workshops to build skills. Then there was a guy, much younger than me, asking why I didn´t do analog any more. Why? A bit startled I told him I can´t stand the chemicals and it took forever to make something perfect in the darkroom. You don´t need to be in a darkroom, he said. Oh? You can scan your pictures and digitalize them. This was putting me off. A bit embarred about myself, I realized how stupid I´d been beeing the only student at a Mary Ellen Mark workshop insisting on using a digital camera. Mary Ellen Mark on her side, refused to see anything on a screen, so I had to buy a printer and print out my pictures on contact sheets. Point is, I learned digital photography.

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Today, I use analog cameras most of the time. But I´m no fanatic, and frankly, I love using a digital camera for colors. Besides, some of the houses fits my hand so perfectly that it´s a pleasure to work with. (I understand that Leica is silent. But the body! So cult appealing. Bulky, slippery, with a hook you can attatch to it, underscoring my point excactly.) I love my Hasselblad on the street. It´s about who you are as a street photographer. No long lenses. Being visible, making noice. Just to aproach people in a respectful way, as I see it. Give them a chance to duck,  or a nod, an eye, even  a pose. We don´t talk, but still, at one level there is an understanding. Not at theft. A gift. A frozen moment. Black and White. Developing the film to my  best Ansel Adams knowledge and do the rest on the computer. Do I own many large format cameras? I do. Do I use them. No, not any longer. I had to own them and then learn how to use them. Medium format is my prefered cameras. The negatives perfect for scanning. The lenses of high quality. And the visibility. Photographers don´t hide, they don´t stand on the other side of the street with a long lens, that´s peeking. Not phogoraphying.

 

When Ansel Adams was asked which camera he prefered the answer was short. The camera I can carry, he said.  I can´t agree more.

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